I don’t even need to cram a cider donut into my face hole to know that the temperature slipping below 60 degrees Fahrenheit (I think that’s like 15 degrees Celsius? Idk I’m not a scholar) means we’ve got yet another fall on our hands. Now: The first day of fall was technically September 22nd, but it hasn’t really been fall until maybe a week ago. How can I say that with such authority? Because until then I hadn’t needed to pull out my light jackette: The jacket that slips over the cozy knits that shield your chilly nips, and/or your Risky Business button downs. 

My light jacket happens to be a fire-engine red swing coat from the one-and-only Judi Rosen, a New York designer whose landmark SoHo location I visited last year on the recommendation of my co-workers. She calls it her “Spiritualized Denim Jacket” because she based it on an ’80s German rave coat. I wore it an obscene amount last fall, and slipping into it this season I found 75 cents in loose change and a ticket stub for Marriage Story, which sounds like a lie but I promise it is not.

In any case, because the totem of “the light jacket” always inaugurates a sense of seasonality, I wanted to ask some of the coolest and chic-est people I know about the first jacket they reach for when the tips of their noses start to get cold. 

Cruise their answers below and see if you don’t find the next jacket to dump on that chair every time you get back to your room this season.

New Mom Ryan Norville Makes Practicality Meet La Mode

Tell me about the first light jacket you pull out of your closet for fall.

The light jacket I always go to first is this cream quilted number by Kordal. I think, for one, it’s the first jacket I see in my closet because it’s such a light color and I gravitate towards it because the color makes me happy. I usually associate colder weather with darker colors, but this jacket is great for people who have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that summer is over, but still want to get their early fall ‘fits off in style. It has snap closures and quilted pockets, so I like the styling options too.

How did you find it?

I discovered Kordal in a small boutique in Greenpoint. There was originally a cropped version of this coat in a coffee color that had sold out immediately in my size. I started following the brand on Instagram and stalked them until they knew who I was. That’s the great thing about small brands—you have accessibility to the designers and feel a connection to the brand. When the new silhouettes and colors were released, the designers Mandy and Jia reached out to me because they knew I was obsessed and I got it immediately.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 9
Sweaty-pits proof – 8.2
Versatility – 9
Cool factor – 10

So, where are you wearing it next?
I’m wearing this to go apple picking this weekend. I can practically taste the cider donuts right now!

Obviously this season, and getting dressed during this season, is feeling more complicated than it ever has. How are you feeling about getting dressed and showing up in general right now?

In the past six months I’ve seen the height of COVID, mass protesting and social unrest, and gave birth to a human. Needless to say, getting dressed was the very last thing on my mind. I’ve been patient with myself, but once I was ready to put a little bit more thought into my outfits again and have fun with getting dressed, I realized neglecting something I loved wasn’t the answer, either. So now I balance trying to have fun while getting dressed with functionality (can I breastfeed in this? Will I be overheated if I wear the baby in a carrier?). At the same time, I know that it’s not the end of the world if I can’t find the perfect outfit to express myself or have pre-pregnancy clothes that still don’t fit me again.

Kordal

Sawyer Quilted Jacket

Shop Now

Entireworld

Dogwalker Jacket

Shop Now

Everlane

Cotton Quilted Jacket

Shop Now

APVCAMO

Upcycled Military Liner Jacket

Shop Now

Micaela Greg

Dune Quilted Jacket

Shop Now

Lauren Servideo Makes the Case for “The Fall Cloak”

First light jacket, go!

I guess this is light compared to, like, an Arctic parka, but it is still a pretty heavy duty coat: my Lindsey Thornburg cloak. It’s made from Pendleton fabric (iconic!) and I absolutely love the shape.

What’s its origin story?

I’ve known Lindsey since I was seventeen. All of her cool and talented friends wore her designs, and I promised myself that when I was older, I would get something of hers. I visited Lindsey’s studio a few years ago, and she very, very generously gave me an old cloak of hers. I especially love it because she wore it herself.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 10
Sweaty-pits proof – 8
Versatility – 9
Cool factor – 46,000

What’s the next “occasion” you’ll be wearing your cloak to?

Probably to the bodega to get an Arizona iced tea!

How have you been feeling about getting dressed in general these days?

I don’t really think all that hard about getting dressed, other than that I feel better/more ready if I don’t schlep around in pajamas all day.

Lindsey Thornburg

Pendleton Trench Cloak

Shop Now

Lindsey Thornburg

Pendleton Trench Cloak

Shop Now

Dreamscape Handmade

Upcycled Pendleton Blanket Coat

Shop Now

Thrilling

70’s Buttoned Hooded Poncho

Shop Now

Mi-Anne Chan Loves Lime as Much as Dakota Johnson

Tell me about this chic colorful jackette!

If I’m the first person in this story to reference the “all you need is a light jacket!” moment from Miss Congeniality then I’m buying myself a pint of Cherry Garcia. Cheryl was understandably, zonked on stage when she uttered these words, so it makes sense that she was vague. If you ask me though, a “light jacket” needs to be light, yes, but also functional.

The first coat I pull out come fall is a second hand, oversized Burberry quilted number. A light jacket needs to keep a cool breeze from making my arm hairs stand up, but it also needs to be roomy enough to stuff a cardi underneath if things take a turn for the cold. This one is just that. The quilt makes it feel like you’re wearing a big-ass blanket, yet it’s thin and airy enough to keep me from sweating. I try to shop second hand where I can, so in all honesty, the brand label doesn’t matter much (although, it’s a plus)—it’s more the oversized fit and the quilted vibe that makes this the perfect fall jacket. Type in “quilted jacket” into eBay, ThredUp, DePop, or even Etsy, and you’ll find there are many options to choose from.

Why is this your go-to “all you need is a light jacket”?

I’ve been defaulting to this jacket for years. It’s both functional and ~vibey~ all at the same time thanks to its chunky shape and acid-green color. The best part though is that I can wear pajamas under this jacket and still feel cool and put together because it’s structured enough to not look too slouchy. Plus, the green makes it 200% more fun.

How did you acquire it?

My mom graciously gave me this jacket. She found it at Salvation Army (or was it Goodwill?) for something crazy… like $14. Initially we had plans to get it tailored, but after wearing it a few times, I decided to keep it oversized.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 4
Sweaty-pits proof – 8 (it’s roomy)
Versatility – 7
Cool factor – 10!!!!

What’s the next “occasion” you will be wearing your hot, hot light jacket to?

I haven’t left my house all day, so I’ll probably throw it over pajamas and walk to the wine store. The pockets are big so you can kinda fit a bottle in there if you’re careful. It’s also worth noting that the pockets 100% can fit a can of beer.

How have you been feeling about getting dressed and showing up in general right now?

It’s been a wavy ride these past eight months. Sometimes I feel awesome, like I can finally relax and that I don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectations of me. Then, I feel bad and guilty for even thinking those thoughts because I know I should be grateful to have a job and a home and a cat. Generally though, I’ve mostly just been feeling apathetic, and as cliché as it sounds to say, putting on makeup and a nice dress really does make me feel better. That’s not to say I do this all the time—as I’m typing this I’m sitting on my couch in a sports bra and pajama shorts. When I do pull out the stops, it reminds me to appreciate my body and my curves. It’s really nice to know you look good. It’s a feeling I wish to experience as much as possible.

Burberry

Quilted Nova Check Green Jacket

Shop Now

Burberry

Quilted Nova Plaid Snap Front Jacket

Shop Now

Bushwacker

Lime Green Button Front Quilted Jacket

Shop Now

Thrilling

90’s Quilted Floral Print Silk Jacket

Shop Now

Lilly Pulitzer

Lime Green Quilted Coat

Shop Now

Abisola Omole‘s Cropped Green Jacket She’s Wearing for a Special Trip to… The Market

So… tell me about the first light jacket you pull out of your closet come fall!

It’s my green wool jacket from & Other Stories! I find it makes anything I’m wearing look super cool. Whether it’s joggers, a cashmere jumper, a dress—heck, pajamas—it’s just got this cool, put-together vibe about it, so I end up wanting to wear it all the time. In previous years I’ve actually gone straight to a coat, but I suppose it’s just based on what I find/fall in love with.

How did you find it?

Nothing exciting, I was just browsing the site and, though they don’t actually make my size, the description said “oversized,” so I bought it in a US14 and it ended up being the perfect fit.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 4
Sweaty-pits proof – 9
Versatility – 8
Cool factor – 10

Where are you wearing it next? Anything special?

Er, grocery shopping? I don’t have any exciting occasions coming up but I know this jacket will see me through all of the mundane and unexpected places I find myself in.

How are you feeling about getting dressed this season?

To be honest, I’ve always been quite relaxed about how I dress. I favor comfort but I can also appreciate special pieces, so I’m the kind of person that will wear something as soon as it’s delivered, rather than “waiting for a special occasion.” With that in mind, I’ve definitely got some exciting pieces that I’ve recently added to my wardrobe. You’ll likely see me wearing them casually walking down the street or even just while at home. I like to feel and look good wherever I am.

& Other Stories

Oversized Wool Jacket

Shop Now

Madewell

Johnsville Sweater Jacket

Shop Now

Wales Bonner

Checked Utility Jacket

Shop Now

Dejablu Vintage

50’s Wool Short Military Jacket

Shop Now

Sydney Scott’s Light Jacket with Fringe Benefits (Pls Don’t Hate Me for That, Sydney)

Ooooo tell me about this light jacket!!

The first light jacket I pull out of my closet once the temps start to change is this vintage leather jacket I found in the past year during a Luvsick IG sale! I don’t think I’ve ever bought something faster! It’s a men’s suede fringe jacket and is the comfy, cowboy-core jacket of my dreams. Luvsick always has amazing pieces, but they go quickly so you have to act fast.

Why is this the first one you grab from your closet come autumn?

It has that already worn-in fit and feel, akin to something you’d steal out of your dad’s closet. I’ve had this jacket since spring and haven’t gotten to wear it much so I’m dying to style it more this fall!

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 10
Sweaty-pits proof – 5 (It can suddenly get steamy in there!)
Versatility – 7 (Can be dressed up or down, but always has that cowboy vibe to it.)
Cool factor – 12 (I feel like a Haim sister every time I wear this jacket!!!)

What’s the next fête you’re wearing this to?

If we were in ~non-pandemic~ times, I’d love to wear this to a live music show… but realistically, it’ll probably just be worn as part of a very dramatic outfit for running to get groceries, (I’m fine if the only people who see it are the Trader Joe’s cashiers, tbh).

How are you feeling about getting dressed this season compared to previous seasons?

At the beginning of quarantine, it was really easy to default to sweatpants and PJs, but over the summer, I started feeling so bored and uninspired with how I got dressed. It definitely alters your self-image when you go from getting dressed all the time to only seeing an extremely dialed-back version of yourself. Now, I try to put on “real” clothes at least a couple of times a week, even if I don’t plan on leaving my house. It feels silly to get dressed to go nowhere, but having an outfit on that’s different from my weekly sweatpants rotation never fails to make me feel like a human again! I guess more than anything else, this experience has really made me rethink how I get dressed for myself when no one is around, and how much that affects my mood.

Pioneer Wear

Suede Cropped Fringe Jacket

Shop Now

Thrilling

Fringe Leather Jacket with Red Rose Details

Shop Now

Lesa Collection

Suede Jacket With Fringe Tassels

Shop Now

Pioneer Wear

Suede Fringe Bead Jacket

Shop Now

Bianca Valle’s Sunny Chic Workwear

Quilted cutie! Why is this your go-to fall jacket?

I love a workwear jacket. Preferably something with lots of pockets! It’s always the same for me: I love certain silhouettes and I stick to them I love this quilted one from Bode especially, right now, because of the colors, but also the brand’s commitment to sustainability.

How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 in the following categories:

Windproof – 7
Sweaty-pits proof – 9
Versatility – 8
Cool factor – 10

What’s the next “occasion” you will be wearing your sweet sweet light jacket to?
Dinner tonight at Dimes!

Obviously this season, and getting dressed during this season, is feeling more complicated than it ever has. What are the feelings you’re having surrounding getting dressed and showing up in general right now?

Try your best to show up where you can, because why not? We gotta push through for ourselves, our loved ones, and for history!

Bode

Reworked Quilted Workwear Jacket

Shop Now

Thrilling

Quilted Patchwork Multicolor Jacket

Shop Now

Deannes Originals

Handmade Quilted Jacket

Shop Now

Psychic Outlaw

Quilted Supply Chore Coat

Shop Now

The post What’s The First Light Jacket You Wear Come Fall? appeared first on Repeller.

It’s back! And this time it features me, my girlfriend of three months, Taylor, and our combined (excessive) wardrobe. We met on Hinge in the midst of the pandemic—yes, love in pandemia!—which led to novel-length text messages, breathless phone calls starting at 5 p.m. and ending when the sun came up, and now a committed relationship. In terms of gay girl clichés we may have ticked every box, but our connection still feels singular. 

Taylor has such a keen eye for style, which is something that immediately drew me to her when she stepped out of the car she had driven five hours to see me for the first time on that hot July day. If I were to describe it, though I find it hard to pin down, I’d say it’s like a chic, genderless senior citizen. (She okay-ed me saying that.) She’s unapologetic about the way she wears things and how they represent her. And she always tells me she loves my style, too, even though it includes pieces she wouldn’t necessarily choose herself.

For this exercise, because we don’t find ourselves getting dressed every day for work, we decided we had to make our own fun. Categories! And this time we decided to dress each other. Enjoy the fruits of our (very enjoyable) labor:

Reimagining That “First Look” Moment

Amalie: Yes, just like when Bride 1 turns the corner and Bride 2 looks at her, the first time we met was after a period of FERVID talking and texting, so our first greeting was emotional. When I first saw her and ran into her arms, I felt like she looked magical. The edgy elements of her outfit (Black socks and black shoes in 90 degree heat? Men’s tank, pants, and shirt?) with the singular way she lopes gave me a little heartbeat in my fingers. When I offered to have us recreate what a normal “first date” look would have been, I didn’t change a thing because I wouldn’t. (Get some wine for that cheese.)

Taylor: Amalie is the absolute woman of my dreams. If you’ve ever imagined your dreamy steamboat, end-game type of romance, that is what surged through me the moment I laid eyes on her. I was honestly stunned by her the first time I saw her. She was wearing Birkenstocks, bike shorts, and a high neck white tank. To reinterpret that first day look, I stuck with the bike shorts because, hot, and then chose a silky shirt that I love from her closet. And strappy heels because, why not? I’ve only ever heard my heartbeat in such isolation in fight-or-flight scenarios.

The Gays Go to Home Depot

Amalie: We have gone to Home Depot twice in the past three months, which is more than I’ve gone there in the past five years. Taylor is extremely handy—skills she learned from her beloved grandfather—and she insisted on redoing the insides of the closets in my new apartment. There is a strong indication that we will be going back in the near future, as the Depot is a place where she feels at Home (lol). So, with “home improvement” as our theme, I dressed her in the (very cool) look that she wore while drilling into drywall this past weekend: Carhartt bib overalls, a Colette x Free & Easy tee, and her Nike Air Force 1s. Honestly, I should have thrown some pencils and screws into her front pocket.

Taylor: Home improvement plans, Home Depot and the third-floor walk-up apartment situation boils down to needing durable clothing that covers as much skin as possible. Practicality is key when you’re doing stuff like this. So, I put Amalie in a comfortable, secure denim outfit with these crazy moon boots she owns to combat any potential mishaps. I chose pieces that allow enough room for comfort and support, but not enough room for one to become lethargic and/or lazy.

Nice Curbside Dinner (An Oxymoron?)

Amalie: For this look, I wanted to really dress Taylor up. She said specifically that I couldn’t put her in a literal dress, so I opted for the most gussied-up pants and top combination I had in my closet. The silk shirt is one that I’ve never felt great about on myself, and when she put it on, it was an instant yes. She said she felt like herself in the tailored pants, too. BUT, when I put the snakeskin boots in front of her she gave me a little skeptical sidelong glance. I told her to trust. All good relationships have that, u know? It’s a new phenomenon (and a privilege, I recognize) for me to be able to share clothes with a partner. It makes me actually beam to see her look so good in my clothing. I thought she looked jaw-droppingly lovely in this.

Taylor: I love how we differ in our sense of styles: Amalie likes loud, eccentric patterns, whereas I tend to veer more on the simpler, monochromatic side of the closet. For this look, I wanted to maintain aspects of her eccentricity through muted yet unconventional elements: an oversized blazer, white boots, red lipstick and a sheer patterned top. I settled on something more “muted” because I wanted her natural beauty to be front row. 

Pack a Bag, We’re Going to Ft. Greene Park

Amalie: I’ll be the first to admit I may have done too much with Taylor’s look, here. But I couldn’t help myself! There were too many things I wanted to pack into one. First of all, she’s been wearing turtle- and mock necks since I met her in the dead heat of July. She says she wears them all year long, and I love that. So there had to be a turtle. Then, a button-down. She owns a whole fleet of oversized button-downs she inherited from her grandparents, which I would define as her “signature.” Then, of course, her Carhartt jeans that make her butt look squeezable (too much?) and her blue glasses, which are my kryptonite. Without fail, there is a baseball cap, too. This is how Taylor dresses most days, which is to say: adorable. Perfect.

Taylor: For this look I chose garments to tribute Amalie’s ability to effortlessly appear fully put together and polished while still being comfortable. As someone who already came with a deep affinity towards clothing, I admire this about her as much as I find it completely irresistible. I also really love the pair of jeans she’s wearing in this look and am someone who always tends to reserve statement pieces for larger scale occasions rather than, say, a day in the park. I appreciate how thoughtful Amalie is with her stylistic choices—she has no reservations, and makes the most of every opportunity. She puts her clothes on display to the fullest in a way that I believe outwardly is extremely desirable (too much?) Amalie loves to mix and match patterns and also has a shoe game that truly competes with any closet scene from MTV Cribs. Given the mix and match of shoe:pant, I leaned on something more simple for her top, which shows off Amalie’s her beautiful frame. I added a forest green bag, for the sake of practicality. One of my favorite things about Amalie is how she creates a contagious, optimistic energy and an immediate sense of inclusion in the environments she occupies, even through her clothing. I feel like this look accomplishes that.

Is Matching Cringe or Cute?

Amalie: I’ll answer for us both on this one, since I kind of engineered it, lol. I got these Livin’ Cool sweat-short-suits last week and we have both been living (cool?) in them since. At the end of the day, comfort is king, and when we’re sitting at the big table in my living room on folding chairs working all day, it just feels good to lounge. I had Taylor put on a turtleneck under hers to jazz it up and her New Balances. And glasses, always. I’m still not sure what the pulse is on matching with your partner, but trust me when I say this is not something we would ever, like, meet friends in together without a self-deprecating joke or two. But we certainly will canoodle at home!

Overall, thinking about what I learned from this exercise, I guess it’s just that I love what Taylor wears. I feel proud standing next to her. Her closet is different from mine, and yet juxtaposes so nicely with it, that it feels natural. We each have things that we can pull from each other, but for the most part we can simply admire how the other presents without feeling the need to do the same thing. And that’s pretty special.

The post My Girlfriend and I Dressed Each Other for a Week and I Guess I Really Like Her appeared first on Repeller.

I eat it right up. I usually tab out about 15 products while reading, all while imagining what my life would be like with a $250 serum. Would I get the girl? Would I stop seeking unnecessary validation from my friends that I’m worthy of their friendship? And then I close the tab, because… who am I kidding? I know myself, and at my core, I am the kind of person who will never—ever—maintain a skincare routine. I can barely remember to floss once a week or shave my armpits in the shower, let alone complete a multi-step ritual on my face two times a day. 

Now, I know some people may be thinking “That’s skin privilege”—I understand how the above can sound. But what you may not know is: My skin is not great! I have discoloration, dryness, acne scars, hormonal acne, a crop of cute little white heads between my chin and my lip. And I am excessively lazy. I am not built for a life of diligence.

And yet, here I am, writing an article about how I’d still like to cobble together some kind of routine. A minimalist routine! I decided to ask three skincare geniuses for their advice on a routine for the laziest among us. What are 2-3 skincare products that are absolutely imperative? What’s the redux of Skincare for Dummies? My tabs are open and I’m contemplating the spend—let me know who convinces you to finally do the thing in the comments.

Sable Yong

Self-labeled Freelance Narcissologist, Me-labeled Skincare Doula

I asked Sable because, well, duh. If anyone’s going to convince me to maybe bite the bullet, it’s the woman whose skin is actually glowing from wherever her apartment is in the five boroughs right through my window. I get a spidey sense everytime she posts a photo because her skin is simply that good. Here, she threw her hat in the ring with these three products:

1. HoliFrog Superior Omega Nutritive Gel Wash

“An excellent face cleanser will do a lot of legwork for your skincare routine because it actually properly cleanses your skin without stripping it of needed moisture. I love this as an all-around, do-it-all cleanser—it’s low on sulfates (so it won’t overstrain skin) and high on good skincare ingredients like omega fatty acids, probiotics, and antioxidants (so it can also contribute, albeit in a small way, to getting nutrients in there). I like how my skin feels CLEAN after using this but never tight.” 

HoliFrog

Superior Omega Nutritive Gel Wash

Shop Now

2. CosRx AHA BHA Vitamin C Daily Toner

“I was torn between recommending a vitamin C serum or a gentle exfoliating toner, and lo and behold, I gotchu a product that does BOTH. I love CosRx’s formulations for being simple, effective, and affordable. I’d use this once a day, probably in the evening, given its potentially sun-sensitizing ingredients. This will help keep your pores cleared of excess sebum to thwart breakouts, and the exfoliants and Vitamin C will help brighten and even out overall skin tone. BAM. SORTED.”

Cosrx

AHA BHA Vitamin C Daily Toner

Shop Now

3. Supergoop Superscreen Daily Moisturizer SPF 40

“You gotta wear sunscreen every day, no matter what, OK? Actually, you know what, if you live in some windowless bunker and never go outside, you don’t, but really only then. This one is one of the few (maybe only, to my knowledge) moisturizers with SPF that pulls its weight on both sides. SPF 40—great. That’s ample protection for regular-degular, everyday activities. The moisturizer is so nice tho! It’s light and fluffy but super hydrating and leaves a dewy sheen on your face. Some may say too dewy, and I say, “What’s that?” That’s the whole POINT of moisturizer… moisture.”

(If you do find this too heavy/dewy though, Purito’s Centella Green Level Safe Sun SPF 50 is HEAVENLY—calming and moisturizing and lightweight. Magic.) 

Supergoop!

Superscreen Daily Moisturizer SPF 40

Shop Now

Purito

Centella Green Level Safe Sun SPF 50

Shop Now

Siraad Dirshe

Social Content Guru, Skincare Savante

I know Siraad from the gospel that is her You Look Moist, as well as her radiant selfie game and her fabulous content at Flamingo. I felt *lucky* when I reached out to her, and she met me with enthusiasm, cutting down her slather count to a few key products:

“Over the last few years, I’ve proudly gotten my skincare routine down from about 12 steps (I was a maximalist, for sure) to about three steps. I’m not sure if it’s age—I’m in my thirties—or just wanting to spend less time, and money, on skincare products. 

1. Versed Wash It Out Gel Cleanser

“No matter how you slice it, you’ve got to cleanse your face. It’s just a step that can’t be skipped (I tried for a week, and it was gross). For the last year, I’ve been using one from Versed. I’m usually hesitant to use gel cleansers and opt for cream ones since my skin is so dry, but this one doesn’t dry out my skin and does a pretty good job of breaking down makeup.”

Versed

Wash It Out Gel Cleanser

Shop Now

2. Bioderma Sensibia H2O

“One thing I haven’t given up from my double-digit skincare days is double cleansing. I don’t care how much face wash I use or what kind it is—there’s always some type of residue or makeup left behind. Lately, I’ve been really into micellar water and love Bioderma. I know this doesn’t sound like an absolutely necessary step, but when I skip it my skin literally doesn’t feel or look the same.”

Bioderma

Micellar Cleansing Water and Makeup Removing Solution

Shop Now

3. Trader Joe’s 100% Organic Argan Oil

“I love, love, love a good oil! For me, I can use it AM or PM, and there’s no such thing as ‘too much.’ Seriously. What I love most is that a little truly goes a long way, and there are so many affordable oils that you can get at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s. I personally love the vitamin E or argan oil from Trader Joe’s and will either apply directly on my skin or drop into a sunscreen or moisturizer to make it more hydrating.”

Trader Joe’s

Argan Oil

Shop Now

Trader Joe’s

Vitamin E Oil

Shop Now

Jessica DeFino Yarborough

The Green, Clean Beauty Machine

I asked Jessica to share her prowess because I knew her angle would be different. Her knowledge of natural, holistic, and sustainable skincare is vast. So vast, in fact, that she’s been published all over the place! And is currently working on her first book!

“Good news: Your skin doesn’t want or need more than two to three products. Experts agree that ‘10-step skincare’ is possibly the worst thing to happen to acid mantles everywhere. (Other than, perhaps, the petroleum industry, which has compromised our skin barriers with airborne pollution particles since 1859. Say it with me: Stopping climate change counts as skincare. Anyway!)

After years of reporting on the beauty industry and learning about the inherent wonders of the skin—did you know it has built-in mechanisms to self-cleanse, self-moisturize, self-exfoliate, and self-heal?!—and the issues with conventional products, I narrowed my own routine down to just three simple, skin-supportive ingredients. My face, typically dry and acne-prone like yours, is very pleased.”

1. Flora Health Manuka Honey UMF 15+ 

“Pure, food-grade manuka honey is my everything. I use it as an evening cleanser (apply to damp skin, massage in for a minute, rinse off), a face mask (apply to dry skin, leave on for 30 minutes, rinse off), and a spot treatment (dab on active breakouts and leave for as long as you want). It truly does it all: Manuka has antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and antimicrobial properties! It’s full of barrier-boosting omega fatty acids! It’s a humectant that attracts water molecules! It soothes, moisturizes, heals! You can also eat it!! Manuka is so magical that there’s an entire industry dedicated to counterfeiting it. To make sure you’re getting the real thing, look for honey that’s sourced from New Zealand—the only place in the world where manuka bushes grow wild—with a Unique Manuka Factor (UMF) rating of at least 15. “

Flora Health

Manuka Honey UMF 15+

Shop Now

2. Cortas Rose Water

“Rose water consists of just two mild ingredients—roses and water—making it super gentle on the skin. And yet, a single spritz of the stuff contains an almost mind-blowing amount of power. Rose water is both anti-inflammatory and antibacterial, and has roughly the same pH level as the skin. Translation: It can balance an out-of-whack acid mantle, calm any redness or irritation, help heal breakouts, and hydrate. I DIY my own rose water spray using food-grade Cortas Rose Water (again, you can eat it!). Just mix two thirds distilled water with one third rose water in a spray bottle, and use it as a morning cleanser, toner, or face mist.”

Cortas

Rose Water

Shop Now

3. Mountain Rose Herbs Jojoba Oil

“The most effective moisturizer in the world is human sebum—AKA, the body’s built-in moisturizer—and since your skin is dry, you’re probably not producing enough of your own. That’s where jojoba oil comes in. It’s a freaking 97 percent chemical match to sebum, so dry skin welcomes it with open arms (open pores?) and soaks it up like that. Jojoba is also rich in vitamin E, an antioxidant that protects skin from pollution; vitamin B, a complex that helps promote healing; and omega fatty acids, essential compounds that support the skin barrier. To use it as a moisturizer, apply a few drops to damp skin. The damp part is important!! Since moisturizer is a mix of water and oil (seriously, check the ingredient list of any moisturizer you own), massaging jojoba oil onto slightly wet skin is akin to whipping up a DIY moisturizer. Right on your face.”

Mountain Rose Herbs

Jojoba Oil

Shop Now

The post I Asked 3 Beauty Experts to Help Me Create a Minimalist Skincare Routine appeared first on Repeller.

I am not on drugs, though I am sure I could be. Thus begins the Collina Strada SS21 digital presentation titled “Change is Cute.”

A year ago I wrote a breathless play-by-play report of the SS20 show because I was feeling, um, breathless in the best way. I am back. I’m ready to do the same. Almost like live-Tweeting. This time, from the perch of my dining room table, wearing a malodorous sweatshirt. I recommend playing this video while pulling up the commentary in another tab so you can follow along with my word salad.

00:13 This is just a personal reminder for me that I should walk with my hips forward like this more often. Okay, carry on.

00:21 A close-up of a tie-dye tee that says “vulnerability” in either sequin or rhinestone. I have the cash right now.

00:22 Mallory confirms that the edit team is tuned in.

00:27 I already have too much commentary. But Precious Okoyomon carrying her small earth angel child Rainbow? The heart can only take so much.

00:40 Who is she

00:51 “I care a lot and I wear Collina Strada” or “I care a lotta, I wear Collina Strada” is maybe one of the smartest marketing slogans…… I have heard in my 27 years of living.

1:00 Who is she

1:17 Ok. We’ve got two dancing CGI cows flanking HAWA. Vibes are immaculate.

1:31 I would seriously like to know who she is. I would seriously like to commend this 3D animator. I am sweating.

1:38 The solar panels…

2:10 The girl in the back is all of us. Also, man, I miss Clip Art.

2:28 THE FLOWER PRINT G-STRING? NOW I WANT A G-STRING?

2:40 On a serious note, I simply love the incorporation of masks into the show. It’s a reminder that this pandemic is far from over, that living with masks is non-optional, and yet—there are ways to fold them into your life that don’t feel so limiting. Collina Strada was one of the first designers to be responsive to the need for masks. And that’s pretty cool.

3:18 No, I have not NOT noticed the hairpieces, they are incredible.

3:34 Genuinely waiting for a thumb-thumb to pop out. Genuinely feel like I’m experiencing Gulla Gulla Island on drugs. Like… Blue skidoo we can, too. Anyone?

3:46 ALERT! We have a baby in a flower headpiece. Teletubbies vibes.

4:10 I’m sorry I can’t stop talking, but the “Sustainability” briefs? THE “SUSTAINABILITY” BRIEFS? Call the Coast Guard.

4:19 I just want to know who she is.

4:33 Another serious note, just because it’s worth acknowledging this amidst all the showstopping, delightful mayhem: Hillary Taymour’s casting rocks. Power to a designer who sees the importance in creating cool, sustainable designer garments for everyone in a landscape that still somehow has not been able to knock that into their skulls.

5:23 The refrain of “Climate change is really sad” is echoing in my brain. Utterly relevant, deeply true at this critical juncture given the wildfires enveloping our country. I donated to this relief fund today with a heavy heart.

6:30 I am ready to pay cash… for this sweatshirt. As well as this dog. And his blonde wig.

7:14 Gonna need an ID on those sneakers, girl.

7:46 Am I or am I not in Grizzly Bear’s “Ready, Able” music video? Anyone? …Anyone.

8:21 Apocalyptic raining frogs vibes. Anyone? Sunday School? Anyone.

9:18 Work the runway, mama!

9:28 “I’m happy as a clam in the sand / We’ll face climate change as best as we can” <– Interestingly, my next tattoo

10:06 Again, I would like to take a moment to applaud this 3D animator, whose name I have just found: Jefferson Wenzel. Big round of applause for Jefferson. I’m serious.

10:39 Okay, I can tell we’re coming to the close with this euphoric montage.

In which case I’ll just say: I’m floored. I am sweating both on my brow and under my pits, and the thermostat claims it’s only 71 degrees in here. How thrilling to see such an irreverent, thoughtful, trippy, rambunctious, off-the-wall, completely democratized show for Fashion Week? So often, lately, it feels like life is dragging us by our hair, but, in its own strange way, this show felt to me like “hope.” Hope for fashion, maybe some hope for our political and ecological future, and certainly hope for serious change in the industry. After all, change (as evidence below) is cute.

The post NYFW: Collina Strada Went All Out and Waaay Out appeared first on Repeller.

Say it with me: Too! Much! Shit!

The “too much shit” mantra applies to virtually every aspect of my life—random papers, half-stamped loyalty cards, a metric ton of tote bags, face mists I was sure I would bring to the beach someday. But, of course, I also have too much clothing. I brought trash bags stuffed with sweaters, garment bags by the baker’s dozen, shoes stacked up to my chin. 

I’m not good at shedding. But I’m ready for The Purge. (No, not the 2013 dystopian thriller with a 39% Rotten Tomatoes rating. We’re already living in that.)

So, what am I purging? Coats that feel redundant. I don’t need a second fleece. Those pink Balenciaga pumps I bought for $80 from The RealReal that I probably won’t wear ever again (read: more than once). That puffy green headband I can’t seem to figure out how to wear.

I’m nixing the pieces in my closet that are “doubles”—items whose function and style are served by another item in my closet that pretty much has the same purpose. I’m eliminating clothing I haven’t worn in the past year (pre-pandemic, that is). And I’m cutting the things that don’t feel like they will grow with me in the next year, that feel ensconced in a certain former version of myself. 

As far as what I want to acquire, that churn rate has slowed. The things I want are much more specific: a blouse I know will support a small brand, a pair of earrings that will permit me to play dress-up for a dinner date outside, or home goods that will help my days go faster or slower, depending on what I need.

That said, what are YOU purging from your closet these days? And what are you looking to acquire? Has the prospect of spending lots of time at home, regardless of your work or schooling situation, changed what you might want this season? Drop your needs and wants in the comments so we can chat.

The post Open Thread: What Are You Purging From Your Closet Right Now? appeared first on Repeller.

Gen Z was more tech savvy when they were shaking baby rattles than I was at age 12. They’re socially, politically, and environmentally engaged. They slam hate speech on TikTok in favor of words of encouragement. They tank entire Trump rallies. They have opened themselves up to a buffet of options to help them finesse their sexual identity. They’re cool!!!

Not to mention, many of them happen to be extremely savvy at shopping second-hand. Whether they’re trolling Depop or sifting through the racks of their local donation-based church thrift stores, they’ve acquired some of the best tricks of the trade for digital and IRL treasure hunting. 

And while I’m aware that I’m speaking broadly, the teens that I know these days are fundamentally great in so many ways, they give me hope for a future that, in less hopeful moments, looks deeply uncertain. And how special is it for the reputation of an entire generation be characteristics and behaviors that I wish I found more often in my *own* generation?

Anyway, before I permit a single, loving tear to slide down my nose and drip onto the exclamation key, I’ll allow these cool teens to speak for themselves. All my sweeping “generation generalizations” ring true with Joyce, 19, and Orlie, 18—second-hand-savvy teens I had the privilege of speaking to this week in New York. Below, they share some of their expertise, alongside the tips of other teens in the Repeller audience who bestowed their best vintage shopping knowledge upon us via a survey. 

Get out your digital pad and pen for this one.

Joyce Matos, 19

Joyce is a sophomore at NYU Gallatin. She was born and raised in Ridgewood, Queens, and is actually finding Zoom classes to be kind of… nice?

On How it All Got Started

I think I started shopping thrift and vintage in late middle school. You grow up in New York and the thing to do is to go to L Train Vintage after school and just hang out in that miserable store where there’s never AC. I grew up in Ridgewood, and there was a huge thrift store there called Urban Jungle near my uncle’s factory.I would always go there, but my parents did not like me thrifting. It’s an immigrant thing, I think, like, “Why are you buying someone else’s clothes? We moved to America so you could buy new clothes.” Then I learned about fast fashion and I explained this to them, and they were like, “No, no, please buy new clothes or else why did we move here?”

In early ninth grade, when I was on Tumblr, there used to be more activism on Tumblr. I would read about fast fashion and labor practices, and it was very intense. I was aware of it to an extent, but not to the extent of photos and details and what sweatshop workers are going through. I read a book at that age, too, called Factory Girls, about the factories in one of the cities in southern China. It included testimonies from factory workers there, and I remember reading it and thinking about how awful it was. I had a debate with my mom about it because she was like, “That’s how they make their money. Are you going to deny them that?” and I said “People can still buy there, I just don’t have to buy there.” 

I know there are sustainable brands, but at the same time I don’t necessarily trust them. There have even been these debates around the ethics of second-hand shopping, about how Depop sellers are buying from charity shops and thrift stores that people depend on and marking it up. I don’t prefer Depop and tend to know which sellers do that and which ones I can trust. I prefer Poshmark for that reason. Poshmark isn’t like someone going to a thrift store, buying everything, and then selling it to upper-middle-class teenagers with a markup.

On What She’s Wearing Today

Today I wore Levi’s 522s. They’re like these low-rise, baggy jeans that I always wear. They’re very Avril Lavigne, low-rise, loose. The jeans make me feel like a boy, in a sense, and then I feel good about myself because I can breathe, I can move, and still look cool. And I wore a Hysteric Glamour tank top, which is pink with this graphic design on it. I found it on Japanese eBay. 

Before that, I was wearing a Betsey Johnson blouse that’s very frilly and cream colored and these Jean Paul Gaultier tan, low-rise flares. The Betsey Johnson shirt I found on Poshmark, as well as the Levi’s. The JPG pants I found at Hester Street Fair, which is a flea market event that happens in Chinatown. I’d consider this more of a fancy outfit. I like the colors together, the cream and brown and tan. Then I chose to use the plaid colors of the shoes to offset that. The vibe I’m always going for is like… an old stableboy who’s going to his first party. 

On Starting Your Search with Tumblr

To find what I’m looking for, I usually go on Tumblr. I’m an active Tumblr user—me and my closest friends all have them and we send each other stuff. We look at Fruits Magazine or Popeye, Japanese magazines, and find style inspiration there. Then I’ll go to Depop and start searching—I’ll put search terms into Depop and find the right names or brands of what I’m looking for. Then I’ll put it in Poshmark or Ebay because it’s always cheaper. 

That’s one of my tips: Find what you like on Depop and buy it somewhere else because the sellers won’t mark it up. The difference between the different resale apps is that Depop has become a business place, where sellers will go buy stuff and then mark it up, whereas Poshmark is just a bunch of middle-aged moms trying to clean out their closets. Depop is a different kind of platform for selling clothes. There are Depop sellers. You know the names of Depop sellers. They’re personalities.

On Finding the Hidden Gems

One platform I love is Japanese Ebay. It’s not called Japanese Ebay, it’s called something like Yahoo Shopping, which is Japan’s form of Ebay. Japanese Mercari is also really good. Rakuten is great. I mostly love Poshmark and I’ll use Depop sometimes—only sometimes. In real life, my favorite stores are Country Of on Essex, which used to be a stand at Hester Street Fair. Also Lara Koleji in Greenpoint. She has a great curation of clothing.

Find what you like and put in keywords: ropped blouse,” “orange cropped tee”. You just have to be really patient and communicate with the seller. Be polite and ask questions. If things are already cheap, then I won’t barter down, but if it’s more than I want to pay, then I’ll go a little lower than I’ll actually pay and they’ll usually meet me. 

Also, brands you wouldn’t expect to have good clothes, do. Early 2000s Loft? Good. The brands your mom would wear? Banana Republic, Loft, all of those corporate or office-wear brands, are really good. Their quality was better back then. There’s some good low-cut pants, really good blouses. Check out the mom brands. 

On Her Best Scores Ever

The best item I ever purchased second-hand was this purple figure-skating dress. It’s light purple mesh and has glittery flowers on it. It has a fairy-like hem—I wore it to prom. And I’m really into this old skate brand called Porn Star. It’s really hard to find. I found one shirt on Depop listed for $300, which was a no. Then I found one on eBay for $40 and I got them down to $20 and was very proud of myself. I love their labels, their tags. 

Orlie May White, 18

Orlie is a first-year student at Barnard College in Manhattan. She’s taking a class on the history of humanity wearing clothing and is loving it.

On Crafting Her Lewk

There’s a lot to say here. The first thing I’m wearing is this beret by Kangol. I got this at a flea market in Seattle because I was there for my cousin’s bar mitzvah. I had always wanted a beret—now I have a few and I collect them.

The next thing I have is this white bomber jacket. It says “The Kids from Wisconsin” on the back and on the front it says “Steve.” I always wanted to have some kind of athletic, football, jock-jacket, and this is the closest I’ll ever get to that.

My skirt is gingham, it looks like a picnic blanket and I really like the unique seams. There’s a thrift store in my hometown of Maplewood, New Jersey, where I found it, and I had my eye on it for a long time. It didn’t fit me properly in the waist, so I negotiated the price down after watching it for, like, months. I usually wear it with a belt and I love it. 

This belt and my necklace I bought in Morocco. I was lucky enough to spend three weeks doing a road trip there last summer with my family, because we knew some people that used to work there. In Morocco there are so many antique stores, even in the desert—all over the place. I could never get tired of looking at them. I negotiated with the owner for a price on this necklace, which is older, and this belt, which is newer. I love how they look together. 

My tank top is by Baby Phat, which I love. I was born in 2001 so I grew up in the 2000s and wasn’t really aware of the Baby Phat brand. Now I love the founder, Kimora Lee Simmons–I think she’s a really inspiring and confident woman. I wanted to support more Black-owned businesses in fashion, and a lot of people in my age group aren’t as familiar with Baby Phat. I really love it and love telling people about it. I actually wore it to my high school graduation, actually. I went to a Catholic school and always got in so much trouble for not abiding by uniform guidelines rules because I always wanted to be creative. I wasn’t allowed to do anything with the gown so I wore this underneath. I was sneaky like that; I’ve learned to dress that way.

My cowboy boots! Cowgirl boots, actually. I visited my grandmother who rented a house in the Berkshires. I went to the Goodwill that’s off the highway there and found these boots and they were only $6. I’d been wanting cowboy boots forever. They’re so cool and I love them so much.

This purse is from the Takashi Murakami Louis Vuitton collaboration from the mid-2000s. I got it for my 10th birthday. My family is not into designer clothes and are not glamorous in any way like that. I was in Florida in the winter and my mom went to a Goodwill there. The story goes that she found this bag in some random bin in a hidden spot, and the lady at the store didn’t know what it was. She showed my mom that there was a small nail polish stain on the inside of the bag and assumed people wouldn’t want the bag because of the stain. My mom got it for $4. I’ve checked to see if it’s real, and there are these numbers that are inside that are supposed to indicate that, but real or not I love it.

I put this outfit together through trial and error. I wanted to have a variety of pieces that represented different time periods, different locations, different ways of acquisition. When dressing up for something, I try to make myself a little uncomfortable in the way I mix and match. A lot of the people who design these clothes probably never would imagine them being worn the way I wear them, but I feel like it’s a way of telling some kind of story that I might not even know. I always still feel like I’m in the dress-up phase of my life. When I was a kid I played dress-up all the time, and I feel like I just never moved on.

On Her Second-Hand Origins

The question should really be “When did I first start shopping FIRST-hand!” My mom raised my sister and I on consignment clothes. When we were little and our bodies were always changing and growing, my mom said we should always have hand-me-downs. There are some local neighborhood consignment stores for kids that most of my clothes came from.

I remember me and my sister being like, “I wish we could buy clothes from, like, Old Navy or something normal,” but my mom just always had the idea that this was the easiest and cheapest way to shop.

On Her Top Tips

For online shopping, it’s really good to have something specific in mind that you’re looking for. So many places that you would go to find things online are so oversaturated with people trying to get rid of things. It’s easy to feel lost or overwhelmed by the mere quantity. If you have the vision of something you’re looking for, or a look you want to achieve, a specific decade, material or brand will help narrow your search. The more specific, the better your chances are of finding something that fits your vision.

On Her Favorite Gown (Yes, Gown)

My favorite things I purchase are the things I feel most fabulous, glamorous, and fashionable in. I”m such a girly-girl, and I love getting dressed up. You can’t wear these big, voluminous pieces to the grocery store, but I’m so drawn to them. I found this vintage Elie Tahari gown at a church thrift store in Deerport, Florida. I was going to a wedding and didn’t like my dress, and I found this glamorous, beautiful, embellished dress that’s cut on the bias so it fits everyone that wears it. It’s my favorite piece, sometimes I just wear it around my apartment. Whenever I’m feeling bad or down, I’ll put on this dress just to make myself feel better. I can’t wait to, one day, have a place to wear it. 

Photography by Beth Sacca.

The post How to Shop Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and More, According to Teens appeared first on Repeller.

(And I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight the origins of Labor Day, honoring the US laborers who fought for livable wages and acceptable working conditions. Crack a cold one, eat a veggie burger, and decline to labor in their honor!!!)

Anyway, a little FYI for you: Over the past few months at Man Repeller, we’ve been working hard to renovate from the inside out. If you’ve been with us you’ve hopefully felt some of it, and seen it.

But there’s more TK! And by that I mean “to come.” (Editor lingo.) We’re putting a few final touches on some renovations starting—right now!—and we’ll be back on Wednesday with some shiny new updates for you.

This means it will be quiet on the site for the next few days. (I hope you’ll be so busy cannonballing into the body of water of your choice that you don’t even notice.)

In the meantime, here’s a list of ~fun~ things you can do this weekend:

• Get lost on “Cleaning TikTok” and never look back.
• Watch a movie with an absurd plot twist.
• Select the 5 outfits you will make a point to be seen in this fall.
• Attempt to make the perfect oatmeal and then share your research findings below.
• Show this video to at least 10 friends in order to ensure positive energy and vibes this season.
• If you’re in the US, vote by mail or request your mail-in ballot!

The post Bon Weekend, We’ll Be Right Back! appeared first on Repeller.

However, here I am. And when I say “The Killer,” I’m talking about yeast infection suppositories.

For the past eight years of my life I have been prone to yeast infections. What are they, you ask? “A fungal infection that causes irritation, discharge, and intense itchiness of the vagina and vulva,” says Mayo Clinic. Cute! I’m not sure if it’s something about my downstairs pH, my overall body chemistry, or what, but I get them a lot. Like many times a year a lot, depending on the year. New sexual partner? Yeast infection. Took too long to shower after my run? Yeast infection. Sat on a bike for, like, two hours? Yeast infection.

And, if you’re a vagina-posessing individual, you, like me, may have tried Monistat: the classic over-the-counter cream or capsule insertion for banishing das yeast. It has…occasionally…worked for me. (I’m not here to spread horror stories but I tried the Monistat 1-Day in college and my eyes snapped open in the middle of the night, I rushed to the shower in horror, and I clawed at my nether regions for an hour trying to reduce the painful, itchy, horrible feeling of too-potent medicine. Also cute!)

Even my doctor, who will offer me pills to banish the yeast infections whenever I visit with the same old story, has often shrugged her shoulders and said: “You’re just one of those women who is more prone to these.” Okay, DOC.

Enter: Love Wellness’s “The Killer.” The first time I heard about this product was from a woman I was seeing. She had these in her bathroom cabinet and offered me one after I mentioned I was feeling a bit “imbalanced.” I inserted it overnight and the next morning I felt fine. The discomfort was seemingly gone. I rejoiced, and feverishly looked up the product online so I could buy several boxes.

It turned out that “The Killer,” in its très chic little box, is a boric acid suppository, which is a time-old, doctor-approved agent for balancing vaginal yeast and bacteria. These ones are doctor-developed, and have more than 1,748 five-star reviews on their website out of 1,925 reviews. One, that’s a lot of reviews, and two, that’s a lot of positive reviews. I guess this post is essentially my review, too.

I always have three boxes of “The Killer” on deck. Oftentimes, I’ll only need to use it for 3-4 days before I feel like I’m back to normal, but technically you can use the suppositories for up to 12 days. It has consistently brought me back to a feeling of “squeaky clean.”

Even if you’re not the kind of person described above (a.k.a. me) (in which case, lucky you), “The Killer” feels like the kind of thing that is important to have on hand for whenever your vagina feels like the queasy emoji. That being said!!!! If your symptoms don’t seem to indicate a yeast infection, check in with your doctor instead of resorting to these. I don’t want a maelstrom of comments telling me I’m being irresponsible by giving you over-the-counter options for yeast infections, ppl!

Anyway, the long and short of it is: “The Killer” has truly turned my life on its head in the best possible way, showing me a healthy path out of a long, frustrating cycle.

Shop Now

Give ’em a try and tell me what you think!

Photos by Beth Sacca.

The post Trust Me, Try It: I’m Recommending Something Called “The Killer”? appeared first on Repeller.

I’ve realized this on a personal level during quarantine, and I’m also now beginning to understand different, and beautiful, versions of love and sex outside of heteronormativity with my girlfriend. The cultural conversation around sexual pleasure has so consistently centered on a narrow category of cis-white-hetero maleness, that exploring and redefining pleasure is now a necessity. (Pleasure as resistance is a fundamental aspect of queer and feminist theory, discussed through different lenses by the likes of Audre Lord, Adrienne Maree Brown, and Eve Sedgwick.)

So when Man Repeller had the opportunity to partner with Swedish intimacy lifestyle brand Lelo on a story, I looked back to the heart of their business, which began in 2003 with the question: “What if our most intimate items were made as beautiful as the ones we displayed with the most pride?”

Queer intimacy and queer sex feel directly connected to this premise. It’s both crucial to display and share stories of love and pleasure in queer partnerships so that young people—like the younger version of myself—can more clearly see the shape of their sexuality. And so they can see their sexuality as one of the most extraordinary parts of themselves. Not to mention, toys are often a key element of queer intimacy.

So, I decided to talk with two queer couples about how they define and express pleasure in their relationships (and so much more).

The Couple That’s Saying “F*ck it” to Gender Roles

Brittany Cortez, 21, and Mack Litzenberg, 22

Brittany, an educator and writer, and Mack, a computer science student and musician have been together for a year and a month and met on Tinder (“Somehow we missed the boat on Lex?”). For our Google Hangout interview, both wore bandanas around their necks, an instance of matching that they describe as “never planned, but somehow always happens.” Their dog Xoco sat sandwiched between them.

My first question is kind of broad: What does the word “pleasure” mean to you both?

Brittany: It means a lot of different things. I’m super passionate about nourishing yourself in small ways throughout the day. I like to surround myself with certain colors, and smells, and things like that. [To Mack] What about you? I feel like, for you, pleasure is, like, organization. Kind of the opposite.

Mack: I like it when things are where they should be.

Brittany: Can we talk more in a sexual way too?

Mack: We’re very open with each other. She’s a top, I’m a bottom. We’re very open to trying new things with each other, and having that trust and vulnerability can be really nice.

Brittany: One of the most interesting things about queer sex is that you don’t have these predetermined roles. When you say “sex” to a queer person, you have no idea what they actually could be referring to. The acceptance of that has been key to a lot of our pleasure. Just like, Wow, we can literally do anything, and if it makes us feel good, and it’s fun, it’s sex.

How does asserting and discussing queer pleasure manifest in your partnership?

Brittany: Both of us came in with a lot of shame. I continue to have shame that doesn’t go away—but one small way you can fight against it is to have fun with your body. That alone is so powerful.

Mack: Yeah. Part of it is also not feeling like because you’re queer, the sex that you have is “less than” because it’s not your typical [finger in hole gesture] sex…

Brittany: I mean, it can be.

Mack: Well, it can be, but it’s not “less than” if it’s not that.

How has quarantine been for you guys? Has it given you the opportunity to spend more time together, and how has that felt? 

Mack: We’ve heard of a lot of other people break up during quarantine. But we really get along all the time. We squabble about stupid shit. It’s like, “Oh, I moved the pot, where was it before?” And by “pot” I mean flower pot, not pot.

Brittney: We’re so sober.

Mack: Just clarifying it’s our orchid Constance.

Brittney: Not to bring up astrology, but I’m an Aries and they’re a Sagittarius, so it’s like impossible to hide our idiosyncrasies.

Mack: If we have kept stuff from each other, it never lasts very long. You know? We have managed to foster something where we’re actually able to talk about literally anything and not be judged. I haven’t really had that with a lot of people.

Mack: I also got [top] surgery in quarantine. So that’s a whole fun thing.

Wow! Congratulations!

Mack: Thank you. It was very exciting.

Since toys are such a special aspect of queer intimacy for many—how do you feel about using them? How do you like the Lelo products?

Brittany: Toys are an essential part of sex for us. They’re just a really cool, unique part of queer sex and partnerships.

Mack: You get to pick the dick size you want. Can’t do that with straight people.

Brittany: We don’t want to say that all gay people have the same bodies or anything like that, but queer people, regardless of their anatomical features, are more likely to have sex in a variety of ways with a variety of objects. And that’s super cool.

Mack: The Lelo product we picked was the spicier one…

Brittany: It was super unique—we had the suction one. [Note: It’s the Sona 2 Cruise!]

Amalie: I saw that and I was like, “I don’t even know how that works, but I’m intrigued.”

Mack: 10/10 would recommend.

The Couple That Finds Pleasure Through Intimate Understanding

Utibe Mbagwu, 25 and Cristal Jefferson, 24

Utibe is the social media editor at Glossier and Into the Gloss and her partner Cristal is a production coordinator and camera operator at Vice. They’ve been together for four years, since they met via the Organization of Black Women at NYU. Cristal patched into our call from Portland, where she’s covering Black Lives Matter and Antifa, among other things (including murder hornets) and Utibe called in from their shared apartment in Bed Stuy.

How are you two finding time for yourselves right now? And what do you most enjoy doing when spending time together?

Utibe: I’m really busy during the weekdays. It was kind of accepted that from nine to six, when I’m working, I’m really in the office working. We usually try to spend time together in the morning, and talk about our day, and make plans for what’s going to happen after work hours, when we like to watch something on Hulu or cook dinner.

Cristal: I need a little bit of time with her in the morning before she hops out of bed, because when she says she works, this girl works. I can’t get too many moments in that timeframe when she’s working. For someone like me, who has more free time, I’ve definitely had to learn to adjust my needs.

It sounds like you guys have really figured out what works for you! I’ll move on to one of the headier questions: What does the word pleasure mean to you both, individually and also as a couple?

Cristal: You can go first, babe. That’s your thing.

Utibe: For me, it’s finding the things that create that energy where you’re just… where things feel magical in the relationship. The person just gets you.

Cristal: The understanding in this relationship is really important. Utibe knows my relationship with sex, and she knows my limits. She’s very verbal. We like to talk through it. That itself is very pleasurable and comforting. It’s just weird. The way we vibe is really weird.

Utibe: [Laughs] Clarify what you mean by weird!

Cristal: It’s great. It’s unexplainable. I’ve never been able to just talk to someone all day, every day, and never be bored, or always find excitement waking up and being able to talk to you, Utibe.

So for this next question: I know we talked about how I based this pitch in concepts from queer theory about pleasure as a form of resistance, so how do you both feel like that comes into play for you?

Cristal: Being in the relationship and being queer has forced me to break down a lot of the heteronormative images and experiences that I have had, to open up my view of how sex can be—and how relationships can be, and how gender roles are not really a thing. I feel like our friends really look up to Utibe and I in this weird way because we’re queer.

Utibe: Being truly ourselves has allowed other people to be truly themselves—and be open about the kind of lives that they want to lead. I have a couple of friends who, through me being open with them, has allowed them to be like, “I really want to have a relationship with a woman at some point. How was your experience coming to terms of your queerness?”

I made friends with a couple last year, and I credit them for showing me what real love is and showing me the side of my sexuality that I didn’t even understand. Their relationship is so beautiful and special. I was like, “I want that.” I’m sure you do that for a lot of your friends, too.

Utibe: Sometimes people need a possibility model. People need to know that this is possible.

Totally. Okay, now I’m going to ask about the sex stuff! How do you feel about toys in the bedroom in general and how do you feel about the Lelo products?

Utibe: I would just say that Cristal and I just go with the flow and go with the mood. There isn’t really a plan. It’s just kind of if we feel like it, then we’ll use one. Sometimes we’ll be hanging out with friends and we’ll pass by a sex shop and we’ll all go in and be like, “Okay, let’s get this one little thing and see how it goes.” It’s just kind of how we feel. I think that’s how it is for a lot of people.

Cristal: Yeah. I think maybe within the last year or so we started using sex toys and it’s been fun. It’s been exciting. It spices up the routine of it, you know what I mean? I feel like you got to warm yourself up to sex toys and getting into that. But I feel like they’ve been very…

Utibe: They’re fun. They’re ultimately fun to use.

Cristal: Yeah. “We like sex toys” is basically the consensus.

Honestly, same! We talked a little bit about how your relationship has changed in quarantine—has it impacted your sex life or made you feel more intimate with each other at all?

Utibe: Well, Cristal and I just moved into our first apartment together. She’s been living with me forever, but we officially are living together now. I feel like we’re having more sex than before because we’re together all the time. I think also building a home together has been a really intimate experience and that’s created another layer of love between us. We’re having a good time together.

Cristal: You have to be very mindful because I feel like a lot of people have also broken up during Covid. Utibe and I have been really good at working through this in a healthy way. What I love about being in this relationship is that Utibe is very much an active partner in making this work for as long as it can. And it’s really special.

Utibe: I feel like there’s so many places with stressors and we’ve been working, managing them together. It hasn’t always been perfect, but we’ve given each other this grace to make mistakes.

I’m so glad you guys have had each other through this, and I’m glad you moved in when you did. It sounds like it’s been really important.

Cristal: Yeah. We’re very lucky.

The last thing I’ll ask you guys is if there’s something we didn’t get to in our conversation that you want people to know. Thoughts?

Cristal: Recently my friends have said, “Oh, I don’t know how lesbians have sex.” And people will ask me. But you should educate yourself. You shouldn’t put the labor on someone else to educate you about queer sex.

Utibe: Read a book, watch a film by a queer filmmaker. There’s so many other options. Don’t put the labor on other people.

Amalie: Totally, and sex is so many different things. It could be literally anything.

Cristal: Anything. It could be rubbing on someone’s shoulder with your shoulder.

Utibe: People don’t get it.

Utibe, do you have anything that you wanted to add?

Utibe: Just that I love Cristal.

Cristal: Oh my God. I love you too, Utibe.

LELO SONA 2 Cruise

Shop Now

LELO TIANI 3

Shop Now

LELO SORAYA 2

Shop Now

Photography by Beth Sacca.

The post Let’s Talk About Queer Sex and Love, Baby appeared first on Repeller.

I remember thinking to myself: I could use a comprehensive, A-to-Z guide on this tiniest of Holy Grails. (Not exactly those words, but you get it.)

With the state of the world being what it is—and with a personal pledge to create less waste in 2020—it feels like there’s no better time to ditch my tampons once-and-for-all for the sustainable alternative. Together with the team at Intimina, a Swedish brand offering a full range of responsibly manufactured products dedicated to menstrual care, I asked those who bleed monthly in the Man Repeller audience for all their questions and qualms about menstrual cups. And lo, did you query!

Below, enjoy a guide from yours truly—made with help from the experts at Intimina, who provided some background on questions from novice menstrual cup users and menstrual cup maestros alike.

1. Finding the Mini Chalice That’s Right for You

The most important information for determining the right cup for you is knowing the length of your, you guessed it, cervix. Cervix height can change depending on the time of month, so measure it with a clean finger during your cycle to be sure you know which size is right for you.

Many menstrual cups come with stems! In the case of Intimina’s—apart from their “Ziggy Cup,” which you can use during sex (more on that later!!!)—you’ll be able to trim the stem to your comfort.

Cups can be used for up to 12 hours, including during sleep, but you may need to change it more often if your flow is heavier. The good news is… there’s a cup for that. And with time, and practice, you’ll be able to determine how often you’ll need to empty your cup—anywhere from 2-3 times a day is recommended.

As far as materials, medical-grade silicone cups are your best bet, since they are hypoallergenic, latex-free, and toxin-free. No microplastics, toxic chemicals, or phthalates, s’il vous plaît! Look for a cup that has been tested and FDA-approved for biocompatibility. Intimina happens to have a queenly starter cup—the “Lily Cup One”—which is, certifiably, a beginner’s best friend. It collapses down to fit into its own carrying case, and even has a removal loop to make sure your first reaction when trying it out isn’t panic! And if you want something even slimmer and slippier, they make a “Lily Cup compact“ which collapses all the way flat and also fits into its own precious carrying case. It’s very cute. Just saying.

2. Safety First, Kids

“What about my IUD?” many asked. I, too, am an IUD proprietor and went down the road of being confused about whether my cup would interfere with the tiny strings at the back of my canal, or that the pressure vacuum might dislodge it. Fortunately, menstrual cups are held in a lower position than a tampon and shouldn’t interfere with an internal birth control device. Experts told me that. And as far as the aforementioned pressure vacuum, if you are a new IUD user it is worth waiting a few months before incorporating a menstrual cup into your routine. If you’re concerned about the placement of your IUD, it’s worth checking in with your doctor to confirm it’s positioned correctly, that a menstrual cup won’t interfere with its placement, and that its strings aren’t too long.

3. But… How Do You Clean It? Like, Really Clean It.

For me, this historically felt like the biggest barrier to getting a menstrual cup. Getting my hands dirty with my own period blood seemed like an ick! But I had to interrogate what it was about my period that made it feel like it was “dirty” or “gross,” because—pardon me, I’m mounting my soap box—it’s the most natural thing in the world and society told me it wasn’t. Women have been menstruating since time immemorial—and despite the aches and pains and occasional frustration, it is our—dare I say it, beautiful—biology. L’origine du monde. Whenever I get red-cheeked over my period, I just check myself and play this scene in my head.

Okay, now: How to clean your cup! While using your menstrual cup, you can wash it in a sink with mild, PH-balanced soap and hot water. Zing. For a more thorough clean between periods, though, it’s recommended that you boil your cup submerged in a pot of water for 5 to 8 minutes. Many audience members mentioned cup staining as a pain point, and I think I may have the secret sauce! According to an expert at Intimina, mix equal parts 1% hydrogen peroxide and water in a bowl, leaving the cup submerged for 24 hours. After doing so—and before using or storing it!—be sure to wash it with warm water, to ensure that you’ve removed all the hydrogen peroxide residue. Alternatively, a 1:2 part white vinegar and water mixture will work with this method—submerge the cup in it for 24 hours and wash it thoroughly afterwards. If your cup smells like a salt & vinegar chip the next day, boil it in water per the directions above.

4. In the Words of One Responder: “How Do I Clean My Cup in a Public Restroom Without Looking Like I Murdered Someone in There???”

Moons ago, when I first started thinking about a menstrual cup, I imagined cleaning it out in a public bathroom stall and the resulting crime-scene vibe. A flutter of panic!!! Many responses echoed this same fear.

But it doesn’t need to be scary! Wash your hands with soap and water before handling the cup, or consider carrying *coveted* hand sanitizer or antibacterial hand wipes in your bag to get clean before removing it. Chic. If you don’t have access to running water, according to the experts, it’s perfectly safe to empty your cup and wipe it out with toilet paper before reinserting. Alternatively, you can bring your reusable water bottle into the stall with you to do a little rinse. Clean your hands to the best of your ability before leaving the stall, give them a proper wash in the sink, and cartwheel out of there.

5. UGH, Not Leakage

Leaking is not fun or cool. But just a reminder that, in the beginning, it happens! If you’re getting used to a cup, be open to the fact that leaking might be a part of the process. But if you’re still getting grief after that introductory period, the Intimina team recommends the following:

There are two possible reasons for leaks: Your cup isn’t opened up properly—or it’s not positioned correctly. First and foremost, get acquainted with your ~interior architecture~ so you can visualize what you’re doing during insertion. If your cup hasn’t opened up properly, it’s all about getting the insertion method down. First, relax. No tight walls, pls. Try a different fold if the one you’re using isn’t working (here’s a handy vid for that). Run a finger around the edge of the cup’s body to check for any folds. If they’re still there, gently pull or wiggle the stem. If it’s a matter of leakage due to position, experts recommend moving your cup just a little higher toward your cervix.

6. Truth or Lie: You Can Have Penetrative Sex With a Cup In

Lest I lead you astray, it’s important to note: For most cups, it is not a good idea to have sex with it in!

However, Intimina makes a special cup specifically for penetrative sex called the “Ziggy Cup”—WOOT. The first of its kind, actually. It sits high in the vaginal canal, right under the cervix, and it’s shaped more like a diaphragm than other cups. Give it a whirl and tell me what you think?

So… are you convinced that now is the time to get cup’t? Will you join me on this journey to banishing tampons and liners for the sustainable alternative?? I’m fielding additional questions in the comments—and will continue consulting the experts—so drop a thought or feeling anytime.

Shop Intimina’s cups!

Ziggy Cup

$33.96 Shop Now

Lily Cup One

$21.21 Shop Now

Lily Cup Compact

$25.46 Shop Now

Photography by Aileen Son.

The post Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Menstrual Cups (Including the Best One for Period Sex) appeared first on Repeller.