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About a month ago, Mallory published a list: “Things I Miss, Don’t Miss, Won’t Miss, and Won’t Forget.” Today, Leandra shares hers from the vantage point of May.
What I Miss
The thrill of nailing an outfit
And the first several steps you take outside while wearing it on a sunny day
Smelling like I haven’t been home in hours
Picking up my head to ask a question across my desk and getting a live response
The gorgeously paradoxical quiet of an early morning in Soho and the preparational buzz you can feel vibrating off the sidewalk as it gears up for opening hour
Chattering strangers
Chance encounters
Asking Abie how his day was and genuinely not knowing the answer
What I Didn’t Think I’d Miss
Squiggly chairs
The sound of honking cars
Feeling real distance between me and my bed and longing to get in at the end of the day
Brunch lines snaking around the block where I live
Running home to change, then going right back out
I guess I mean: being in a rush
Occasionally wanting to wear makeup
What I Don’t Miss
The smell of residual beer on and around the trashcans of Bowery Street early on a Sunday morning
Waiting 16 minutes for the Q train
Not “having time” for people who matter (Love you, mom)
Sitting at an office, or really anywhere, when I don’t have to be there, just because it’s the middle of the day
Getting caught on the hamster wheel because it’s easier to speed up than to slow down
Taking things—like buying a cup of coffee or my walk to work—for granted
Feeling like an absent parent
What I Won’t Miss
Depending on my phone for human connection
Cooking three meals day
Live newsfeeds of coronavirus updates
My bathtub as a makeshift office
Waking up with a lump in my chest, almost every morning
Feeling irresponsible every time the constant, nagging reminder of our collective mortality lifts from my mind
The frequency with which I wonder if I’m depressed
The 30-minute process of sanitizing after a visit to the grocery store
Not knowing
What I Won’t Forget
That even though I won’t miss not knowing, we never really know
The grocers who enabled my visits
How much I rely on the restaurants of my neighborhood to make me feel at home
That sharing a bedroom-as-office with my husband wasn’t that bad
Precisely what stay-at-home moms “do all day”
How much having a sense of humor helps
That New York needs me as much as I need it
Your turn.
Graphics by Lorenza Centi.
